I have a cousin who chooses a word or phrase each year to go along with her New Year’s resolutions. When I first saw this idea, I loved it! However, in January, I wasn’t sure what I really wanted from this year. I was really struggling with the tension between things I want to do and things I need to do. Struggling with how I want things to be and how things really are. It’s been an eventful month for me though, and my mind and heart have grown. I’ve realized what my word for the year needs to be:
That’s right. Not Tolerance, but acceptance. Acceptance of my role in my family. Acceptance of situations in life beyond my control–because until I accept the situation, I can’t do anything productive about it. I have to be able to say “Here is where I am. Now what am I going to do about it.” rather than “But I don’t want it to be like this, it should be like that.”
oh, those dangerous words “Should be.” So much judgement is hidden in those words. So many lies are said with those words.
Most of all, acceptance of God’s will in my life. I have to be willing to let go of trying to control my life and do what I know God wants for me to do. It is kind of scary to say alright, I’m going to allow this to be and trust that God’s plan is the better one. My brain says, “but what if it is God’s plan means I’ll won’t get to do what I want.” I have to answer with faith that God’s plan will be better than mine was.
Have you ever experienced this: Where something you have heard and talked about your whole life–really taken for granted–is suddenly so real and amazing to you?
It’s happened for me a few times recently.
Something we all say like “God is always there for you.” or “The atonement of Jesus Christ can heal any hurt.”
I remember sitting in church a few years ago, going over a problem in my mind and thinking, “There is no way. How can Jesus solve this pain for me? I don’t know if he can.”
But of course, He did solve it. And now when I hear someone say, “Jesus can heal any hurt.” I wonder to myself what the story behind that testimony is. Because it isn’t just something I repeat because I’ve heard it. It’s something I know from real experience now.
So for this year, I feel like I have learned better what it really means to do God’s will and trust in Him that what happens will be a blessing for me and my family.
I still have my Jonah days, where I want to run away and follow my plan instead.
But my guiding focus for this year is acceptance. So less Jonah days.
Like Peter, I’m going to try walking on water. Some days, I’m sure the wind boisterous will distract me and I’ll start to sink. In fact, some days I’ll probably plummet towards the bottom and it will be loud and messy and terrible. But other days, I’ll remember to stay focused on my Savior and keep afloat–even maybe keep my head above most of the waves.
What is your focus for this year?
Is there a connection between this post and this one? Now that I think about it, yes. But mostly because the atonement of Christ really does cover everything.
Matthew 14:26-32 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.